2.2 Why Most People Aren’t Actually Out to Get You - Hanlon’s Razor
Your friend forgot to text back - evil mastermind plan, or just bad Wi-Fi? Hanlon’s Razor will save you from unnecessary drama!
We all have those moments: someone does something that upsets us and our brain screams, "They meant to hurt me!" Maybe a friend didn't text back, or a classmate gave you a weird look. It's easy to assume people have bad intentions. Hanlon’s Razor is here to chill us out. This mental model says: Don't attribute to malice what can be explained by carelessness or other factors. In other words, don't automatically think people did you wrong on purpose. Maybe it was an accident, a misunderstanding, or they're just clueless or busy in that moment.
What is Hanlon’s Razor?
Hanlon’s Razor is a guideline for interpreting others' actions. It states: "Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity (or neglect or ignorance)." That sounds a bit harsh (calling people stupid), but it really means most people aren't out to get you. They might just be distracted, uninformed, or having a bad day. It's like giving others the benefit of the doubt before assuming the worst. Think of it as a reminder not to take every annoying thing personally.
In simpler terms: If someone messes up or upsets you, first ask, "Could this just be a mistake or something innocent?" Often, it is.
Real-Life Hanlon’s Razor Examples
No Text Back Example: You send a heartfelt or important text to a friend. Hours pass with no reply. First thought: "They’re ignoring me. They must be mad or they don't care!" Hanlon’s Razor suggests another look: Maybe their phone died, or they're swamped with homework, or they saw it and forgot to respond (it happens!). Chances are, they're not maliciously giving you the silent treatment—they're just busy or absent-minded.
Hallway Snub Example: You wave at a classmate in the hallway and they walk right past you without acknowledging. Ouch. Rather than thinking "They hate me now," consider a Hanlon’s Razor take: Maybe they genuinely didn't see you. They could've been deep in thought about the upcoming test or had earbuds in. Lots of people can be oblivious without meaning any harm
Strict Teacher Example: Your teacher is in a grouchy mood and scolds the class for minor things. It's tempting to think, "They dislike us." But apply Hanlon’s Razor: The teacher might be stressed (maybe they dealt with a difficult situation earlier) or simply enforcing rules, not trying to ruin your day. They're probably not villainously plotting against the students
Group Project Drama: A group member totally messes up their part of a project or forgets to do it. Your anger says "They sabotaged our project!" But maybe they misunderstood the instructions, or they're dealing with something at home and couldn't concentrate. It's likely not an evil plan to ruin your grade; more likely they were disorganized or overwhelmed.
In each case, assuming the worst (that someone wanted to hurt or annoy you) can damage relationships and cause you stress. Hanlon’s Razor helps you pause and think of less awful explanations first.
Challenge: Give Someone the Benefit of the Doubt
This week, your challenge is to practice Hanlon’s Razor:
Think of a situation where someone upset you or let you down recently.
List at least one innocent or neutral explanation for what happened. (For example, "Maybe my friend was late because their carpool was delayed," instead of "They don't respect my time.")
If something new happens that frustrates you, take a deep breath and apply Hanlon’s Razor in the moment. Ask, "Could this be a mistake or misunderstanding?"